Love isn't easy
by GetTheGunZelo
Summary: JR falls in love with fellow member of Nu'est Ren but things aren't always that simple
1. Chapter 1

MINHYUNS POV

It was 11 o'clock in the morning by the time we had all woken up. The concert we had the previous night had left us all shattered and we needed our sleep. I could hear Aron stumble down the hallway knocking at each of the member's doors calling their names. To not get on the wrong side of Aron I flipped off my bed sheets and made my way out of the door and into the hallway to be met by JR leaning against the wall still half asleep. I wonder if he knows how hot he looks with bed hair?

'Hey guys you want to skip breakfast and get lunch in town?' called Aron from his room with a sleepy voice breaking my gaze from the still half asleep JR. 'Yeah whatever' replied Baekho walking out of his room and into Aron's. I got dressed quickly in my room swapping my cosy pyjamas for jeans and a t-shirt and waited in the living room. Soon I was accompanied by Ren who instantly hugged me when he saw me. Ren was definitely a hugger whilst I wasn't. I think he hugs me on purpose to annoy me but I let him do it anyway. We stood in the living room in silence waiting for the others to get ready. Aron and Baekho walked in, hand in hand not even trying to hide the fact that they are together. 'You will have to watch out you guys, people might start talking about you two,' JR said jokingly pushing in-between the couple breaking up their linking hands.

It was bright outside and the warm sun woke us up ready for the walk down to town. As usual Ren was being his overly attached cute self around JR laughing at everything he says whilst Aron and Baekho talked in hushed voices probably about who's room they are going to sleep in tonight, something that I didn't want to hear. What is Ren doing? He has been acting strange around JR ever since Aron and Baekho got together. I couldn't help but laugh at the things Ren does to impress people but this was different. It wasn't like he was being friends; it was more like he wanted JR. OMG he has a crush on JR. To be honest I don't blame him. JR has that effect on people; he saw all the good things in people and was not afraid to point it out.

Ren's cringe worthy flirting continued throughout lunch and soon JR started to join in. What was JR doing?

'Wow what's wrong with you Minhyun, you haven't said a word since we left the dorms,' Baekho commented whilst I was glaring at JR's and Ren's constant flirting. 'Is someone jealous?' Baekho continued letting out a small laugh afterwards resulting in Aron elbowing him in the ribs.

I turned to face Baekho, 'What are you talking about?' I replied trying to act like nothing had happened.

'Never mind Minhyun, Baekho is just joking,' Aron replied quickly, giving Baekho an evil look. Was I actually jealous of Ren? Is it that noticeable that I have feelings for JR? Throughout the rest of the lunch I tried to join in with their flirting resulting in some funny looks from JR. It was a bit weird, I don't know how Ren does it. Just before leaving, Ren left to go to the bathroom. JR moved seats to sit next to me. Even though I am so used to being with JR I couldn't help but feel my heart beating faster as he sat next to me. Aron and Baekho both left to pay leaving just us two alone at the table.

JR leaned slowly towards my ear making sure nobody would see. I could feel his breath on my bare neck causing shivers to run up my spine. 'When we get back to the dorms I need to talk to you,' JR whispered into my ear. I turned my head towards him, centimetres apart, our eyes locking for a few seconds. I didn't know what to say so just slowly nodded still looking into JR's glistening eyes. What could it be about? Was he going to tell me he loved me?

Once Ren got back we left to go back to the dorms. I was happier now that JR wanted to talk to me later but couldn't help but think what might happen. The journey back seemed to take ages. Normally I would take my time to get back but today I needed to know what JR wanted to say to me. JR had stopped the flirting with Ren and was occasionally smiling at me, making my face turn red and heart jump a little.

Once reaching the dorm I walked in and slowly made my way to my room. My breathing had become slightly shallow and my hands where starting to go sweaty as I waited patiently for JR to come and talk to me. It felt like an eternity by the time JR walked into my room and dragged me my arm and into his room on the opposite side of the hallway.

'Whoa what are you doing?' I questioned JR as he shut the door behind me.

'Just shut up, I need to talk to you,' he replied looking slightly panicked. He reached over and grabbed my arm again bringing me towards his bed. 'You might want to sit down before I tell you this,' he said before also taking a seat. Well this is it I thought to myself, the last few minutes of being single. 'As you know, we have been friends since our trainee years and I really trust you.' I sat there motionless trying not to get too excited. 'And I find that you can keep secrets and give good advice occasionally.' Hurry up JR and just say that you love me I thought to myself feeling my face slowly turning red with every compliment. 'I need to tell you something,' he continued making his voice quieter with each word. He slowly reached out towards my hands and took mine in his causing my heart to beat even faster just like today at lunch. 'You have to promise you won't say anything,' he said looking straight into my eyes. Just hurry up and say it JR I kept thinking. Forgetting that I hadn't answered him yet I just nodded really quickly giving him a smile. 'Well here goes nothing,' just hurry up and tell me I was shouting inside my head 'I am in love with Ren.' WHAT! I could feel my heart sink as I heard what he had just said. I sat there motionless unable to say anything. Why did it have to be Ren and not me?

Minutes passed and I still hadn't said anything to JR. I could see his face drop as I pulled my hands out of his. He repeated himself just as the door opened and Aron walked in. 'Yeah Ren likes you too' Aron said nodding as JR looked devastated that Aron had just found out without wanting him to know. 'Please don't tell him' JR begged Aron as he stood up and grabbed him by his shoulders. 'Your secret is safe with me' Aron replied as he was pulled in for a hug from JR. Aron left the room leaving JR and me alone once more. Putting on a happy face I asked him 'what do you need help with?'


	2. Chapter 2

Minhyun's POV

It's been a week today since JR told me he was in love with Ren. At first I thought that maybe he will just get over it but I don't think it's going to be that easy. He has got it bad. Every night just before bed – usually at the same time as Ren goes in the shower- JR has been coming into my room and talking non-stop for about half an hour about how perfect his precious Ren is and all the cute and adorable things he had done in the day. For instance 'did you see him today getting the dance chorography muddled up? Aww his faced was just super cute.' Like seriously I think JR said 'cute' more in half an hour than in my whole life. Some of the things JR says are just sickly sweet and its driving me mad. I wish I had said to him before that I won't help him. I don't even know how I am helping him. Is just talking to him helping? Or do I have to actually do anything? I just hope he will come to his senses soon and move on from Ren before he gets hurt.

Once again we are up early for training and I could hear Aron screaming even louder than usual. I do feel sorry for the guy but that's what happens when you are the oldest and our manager doesn't live with us anymore. Getting up I made my way through to the kitchen with my hands covering most of my eyes hoping it would block out the bright light.

_THUD._

'What the hell Minhyun?!' I heard Ren screech whilst still covering my eyes. 'Maybe if you eat more, Ren, then perhaps you wouldn't get knocked over. Also just 'because you're thin doesn't make you instantly attractive. Like who would want to go out with a twig.' Oh my god did I just say that?! Ren didn't reply and I couldn't help but to feel scared. Ren is pretty crazy when he gets mad. I slowly removed my hands from my eyes and was instantly met by Ren standing in front of me with mouth hanging open with dewy eyes. I walked slowly over to him 'I am so sorry, I didn't mean it. You know I don't mean it, right? Ren please say something. Minki please.' I pulled his shoulder into me bringing him into a hug but was met by his hand pulling me off him. 'Let go Minhyun,' he whispered. I still clung on. 'Let go! Will you just leave!' Ren shouted half crying half angry. I have never seen him like this and I didn't know what to do. JR came out of his room half asleep and glared at us but his expression soon changed once realising Ren was crying. I quickly turned around and made my way back to my room. I could hear mumbling sounds coming from outside my door with a few raised voices here and there. '…he what!...but why?...' Hearing JR's angry voice directed at me made me feel a lot worse than I did before. Sitting on the side of my bed I could feel the silent tears run down my face. I have really stuffed it up this time.

Around ten minutes later a knocking started at my door. Please not JR, please not JR I thought to myself whilst whipping away the tears from my face. Opening the door I was relived it was only Aron but was shocked to see Ren and JR still outside my door sitting with their backs to the wall. I glanced passed Aron and looked directly at the two and my tears started again. Noticing this Aron pushed me inside and hugged me kicking the door shut with his foot. The hug lasted forever and I was starting to question why exactly he was hugging me. I was the one who criticized Ren right? I should be punished. Aron pulled away and stared at me for a while until he raised his hand and slapped my face.

'Whoa what was that for?!' I replied holding the left side of my face.

'You know why,' he said with an angry sounding voice. 'You shouldn't say things like that to Ren. You know how it affects him, even if you were joking.' As my tears started to dry on my face I nodded agreeing with Aron.

'I know I shouldn't have said it. It was a mistake and I wasn't thinking. It's just that the reason I said it was,' I stumbled a bit, starting to cry again, 'it's just that I am jealous of Ren. I don't know why but I just am.' Even though I definitely knew why I was jealous of him I just couldn't tell Aron about me liking JR.

'I thought that,' Aron said nodding like he had just managed to diagnose a patient. I didn't want to ask why I thought that but the look he was giving me suggested that he knows about my crush on JR.

'So why don't you come out and apologize to Ren before we get to training, he is just outside.'

Opening the door JR stood up and walked off with Aron leaving Ren and I alone in the hall. 'I am sorry Ren. I didn't mean it. I am just jealous ok.' I couldn't look him in the eye as I was worried that he might realise I had been crying.

'Why would be jealous of me? What have I got that you don't?' Ren replied walking closer to me.

'I…I don't know. When I look at you, you seem to be the happy guy that can achieve anything. But then there is me.'

'You can achieve anything as well. Like why would you want to be me? I am a stick remember,' said Ren jokingly. He pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear 'now stop crying you big baby.' This got me laughing and we both just stood there for a while in each other's arms.

'Oi you two get a room,' Baekho said passing through the corridor finally out of his bed.

We made our way into the kitchen and took seat at the table. I sat next to Aron who gave me a comforting pat on the shoulder and poured me some juice. I didn't feel like anything to eat so after finishing the drink I got up and left the others to finish eating.

At the training studio we were greeted by our manager and once again told off for being so late and were left to practice on our own. It's great getting to practice without our manager around; I don't know why he thinks it's a punishment when he is not there.

As per usual when our manager isn't around we danced for about half an hour before lying on the ground catching up on sleep we missed at night. Meaning Aron and Baekho slept for most of the practice session resulting in me listening to JR and Ren's constant flirting. I don't know how those two cannot realise that the other one likes them, it's so obvious. Maybe that's how Aron knew about me, am I that obvious? I hope not.

I think I must have drifted out for a bit as I was alerted by JR calling my name saying 'why are you staring at me? It's starting to freak me out.' Once zoning back in I instantly swung my head away trying to find something else to focus on whilst I could feel my face beginning to heat up. Looking at Aron and Baekho now awake sitting ever so closely together I wondered how hard it was for them to be honest with each other. I had enough and lifted myself of the ground and walked towards the door linking its way into the cold hallway. Not caring about the others I carried on walking through the empty entrance, out the main door and onto the deserted street. There was a light breeze in the air and made me feel even cooler than I already was making me already more relieved from leaving the others behind. Or so I thought they were behind – they were behind.

'Hey, wait up!' screamed a very out of breath Aron holding his jumper, phone and water bottle in his arms.

'Why should I?' I replied almost angrily for no apparent reason.

'What have I done!' whilst Aron grabbed my arm with one of his hands dropping his jumper at the same time. I spun around and saw Aron's confused face staring back at me. I broke eye contact with him as I picked up his jumper and swung it over my shoulder.

It's not you,' I said un-convincingly.

'OK so there is seriously something going on here. What is going on? You have been acting strange all day. First shouting at Ren, then getting upset over nothing and now this. I know something is wrong. So please tell me.'

I can't tell him. Even though he has always been so wise and supportive in the past, I just can't. I didn't say anything and started to walk again in the direction of our house followed by a silent Aron.

After a few minutes there was a quiet voice, 'is it JR?'

'What about JR?' I replied quickly surprised.

'Minhyun, I am not blind. I know what it's like to want someone so badly that it starts to affect everything and everyone around you. Just like what happened with Baekho.'

And still I could reply. I continued walking, not looking at Aron's face. How did he know?

After more minutes of silence I managed to say one thing before opening the door. 'Just please Aron, don't say anything. I don't want to ruin everything.'

It's that time of the night again and just as I get comfy in front of the TV I feel myself getting pulled up off the chair and dragged towards my room. There is no questioning on whom it is and why, so I just go along with it even though I am not in the mood to talk. The others never asked why I left early from practice today and I hope they don't. I made myself comfy on my bed and whipped out my phone to pretend to text. I find this as a great distraction from JR's constant babbling about Ren. But sometimes phones are enough of a distraction as half way through JR speaking about Ren being perfect for him I blurted out 'just tone down the flirting. It's making me sick.' Why do I keep saying things without thinking? I am so stupid sometimes.

'Why, do you think people might find out?' he replied with an angry tone in his voice.

'No,' I started 'I am just saying that you have to watch out.'

'What do you mean watch out?'

'I mean the way you are constantly throwing yourself at Ren to get attention is a bit over the top.'

'Wait, are you saying he's not right for me?' JR snarled.

'No'

'No? And why would you think that?'

'It's just…it's just you deserve a lot better than Ren,' oh god did I just say that? What the hell was I thinking?

'Oh yeah,' replied JR getting more and more angry with each word. 'So who would be good enough for me, you for instance?' I could hear the sarcasm in his voice as I instantly replied without thinking once again

'Yes'

I turned my head down towards my phone trying to block out JR's reactions but I could sense he could not believe what I had just said. I didn't want to look up and just wished I had kept quiet. I finally looked up and saw a blank face staring back at me. However there was something questionable in his eyes as he said nothing, got up from my bed and left the room.

Why did I have to do this to him? Why can't things just be normal for once?


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

JR's POV

Minhyun had been acting a bit strange today. In the morning he seemed really upset after insulting poor Ren. I still don't know what made him shout at him but I haven't seen him like that before. What worried me even more was how he reacted after. When I was comforting Ren in the hallway I couldn't help but noticing Minhyun's face when Aron went to check on him. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. For the first time I have known him he almost looked hollow, like he couldn't fix anything. I am glad that it was still slightly dark in the hallway as if it wasn't he would have seen the tears falling down my face for reasons I didn't know. I know that I did have a crush on him a while ago but I gave up on that as he just didn't like me in that way. Once Minhyun left the room I couldn't be seen with tears so I stood up, avoided eye contact with him and walked away even if I wanted to hug him. I left to go into the kitchen when Ren wanted to talk to Minhyun. Keeping in hearing distance, I leaned my back against the wall wiping the tears from my eyes. I could hear everything, however faint but easily comprehendible.

'I'm just jealous ok.'

There is definitely something really upsetting him, he is never like this. Throughout the years he has always been the one infected with happiness and cheer. The one with endless advice and that's why I asked him for help about Ren. Is it my fault he is like this? Surely just asking for advice wouldn't get him this upset.

It was dance practice and we did nothing. I, being the wonderful leader, decided to give the others a rest and not practice to have time with Ren. I find I have to flirt extra hard to get Ren to understand as with Minhyun he never noticed once before. It was going swimmingly sine until I looked up and caught Minhyun's eyes staring straight at me. It was like he was staring right through me, almost like a ghost.

'Minhyun?' I said quietly trying to not wake up Aron and Baekho who were spread out across the floor.

'Are you alright?'

'Minhyun.' Raising my voice.

'Why are you staring at me? It's starting to freak me out' I finally said losing my patience. His gaze broke; turning his head towards me so I could see his cheeks turning a pale pink. He instantly got to his feet and made his way to towards the exit.

'What's going on with him, Aron?' I said with a hidden tremble in my voice. I was getting really worried now.

'It's nothing that I can't handle,' he replied with a worried tone in his voice. He got up and made his way to the door. Turning around he said, 'it's best to not come home straight away! Let me have some time to talk to him, Ok?' I wish he would just tell me whatever is going on. The rest of us left a while later to go home and I couldn't think of anything other than Minhyun on the way back. I really hope he is ok. Entering the door we were met by Aron who instantly came up to us and told us that we should act like nothing has happened today and to not ask questions. Listening to his stern voice there was no point in arguing as I was sure to get hit in the face as I once did before.

As Ren had his daily shower I kept by Aron's rules and dragged Minhyun into his room to talk about Ren. Minhyun had his phone out and was replying like every other day with a nod of the head and a small remark.

'Just tone down the flirting. It's making me sick.' This really surprised me as it was just out of nowhere.

'Why, do you think people might find out?' I replied with too much anger in my voice than I expected.

'No,' he started 'I am just saying that you have to watch out.'

'What do you mean watch out?'

'I mean the way you are constantly throwing yourself at Ren to get attention is a bit over the top.'

'Wait, are you saying he's not right for me?' I snarled. He has no right to tell me who not to be with.

'No'

'No? And why would you think that?'

'It's just…it's just you deserve a lot better than Ren,'

'Oh yeah,' I replied getting really pissed off now. 'So who would be good enough for me, you for instance?' I said sarcastically without thinking.

'Yes'

Yes? Did he just say yes? I couldn't speak. I stared at him and I couldn't think or speak or do anything but somehow I felt happy. But why am I happy? I don't love Minhyun still. It's been ages since I last felt like this towards him. Maybe I do still love him? There was too many thoughts going through my head and I had to go. But before leaving I saw Minhyun's eyes slide up toward me – they were rimmed red and glistening with tears. So I stood up abruptly and left the room.

What do I do now?


End file.
